Prodigal
by beautiful000enigma
Summary: Can love only bring hurt and pain? Allen has long since fallen for Kanda & has yet to know what love returned feels like. With Kanda's wall up, he only pushes Allen away and into further despair. Can an unrequieted love be returned? Yullen Read&Review Plz
1. Broken

A/N: Hello everyone. Seeing that I have more than enough time to do absolutely nothing, I decided that this would be the best time for me to write (or atleast attempt to lol) write a a decent Yaoi fic. Yes this is my first one, so dont chop my head off if it isnt what you expect. But please feel free to comment, (constructive criticism is nice, but dont be an ass, cause I'll be a bigger one lol) M'Kay? to the fic!

This is going to be a song fic

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray or its characters. I simply manipulate them within my evil little plot ^_^. I also dont own OneRepublic and their song Prodigal

'Indicates thought'

"Speech"

_Flashback_

**_Song Lyrics_**

**_Prodigal_**

**_We say good bye, I turn my back_**

Pale skin met and pressed against smooth mahogany, thin fingers slowly sliding down the length of the door as the astonishingly pale and handsome young man repeatedly hit his against the door of his room at the Inn.

'Stupid...'

A low whine escaped his lips as the white haired teen quickly turned, 'Bakanda'

Tear filled eyes stared up at the ceiling as he pressed his back against the door. Allen Walker, the Black Order's most valuable as well as friendly, and ever smiling exorcist was far from his normal self. Allen fought back the tears threatening to flow down his distraught face. Sliding down to the floor, he hugged his knees to his chest as he stared around the dimly lit room, his vision blurring from his mess of emotions

"So...stupid, what was I thinking?" Allen muttered to himself, as silver orbs spilled tears down his face.

_"Moyashi...shut the hell up!" an irritated Japanese teen hissed as the younger followed behind him into his room. HIS room._

_Allen glared at the other, "I will not!"_

_Kanda shot another glared at his partner for this mission before turning away and tossing his coat across the arm of a chair, one of three other pieces of furniture besides the bed. Finding one of the ends of the bandage that wrapped around his chest, Kanda untied it, and began to unravel it._

_**Runaway Runaway, so predictable**_

_"K-Kanda, you shouldn't be doing that!" Allen shouted, much to the already annoyed samurai's displeasure. "You need to heal!"_

_Ignoring him, Kanda continued his task," Che. Baka Moyashi, your either too over emotional or just a dumb ass. I heal fast." The older teen began to unwind the bandages from his body quickly._

_Allen's cheek turned pink slightly, "Well excuse me for looking out for a friend you ass," the teen huffed._

_Kanda, looked over his shoulder, to glare out the corner of his eye at the other, "Che. Since when were we friends?"_

_Allen gaped, taken back by Kanda's words. They cut deeper and hurt more than he thought they would. 'Well what else would you expect?' Allen thought to himself, heart heavy._

_"...Your right, but seeing that we are partners, I'd have to drag you dead ass back to the Order if your killed!" Allen retorted, attempting to hide his hurt. Kanda had taken a serious blow from a Level 3 akuma that would have left anyone else dead, but he is Kanda after all._

_"What ever Moyashi. You would have been dead if I hadn't," Kanda said nonchalantly._

_Allen balled his hand into a fist at his side, "No one asked you to save me!"_

_"Your one to talk with your fucking hero-complex"_

_Allen grew more frustrated with each moment. 'How can you be so careless you idiot? Dont you know we need all the exorcist we have right now?...How much I need you.'_

_Allen pushed back the last thought that came to mind, no matter how true it was. His hidden love for Kanda had plagued him for some time now. It ate away at him with each passing day, only growing stronger. He didnt know when nor how it happened, he just knew it did. Kanda was insufferable, ill mannered, hostile, and generally an all around asshole. But thats what Allen had fallen in love with._

_**Not far from here you see me crack**_

_"Thats besides the point Bakanda! The Order needs you! I n-" Allen stopped himself, "Ugh your such a jerk!"_

_Kanda faced the younger teen, eyes cold and evaluating,"Why does whether I live or die matter to you Moyashi?" _

_Allen dropped his gaze, unclenching his fists and licked his lips, "Because....I can't not care"_

_Kanda raised an eyebrow but said nothing, only continued to stare at the younger boy._

_Allen sighed, "Because...I..l-love you" he confessed, still feeling Kanda's gaze on him._

_"I dont know how...but I do" Silence, then pain_

_**Like a bone, Like a bone, I'm so breakable**_

_Within an instance Allen felt his body slam against the near by wall, he looked up and saw a furious Kanda inches away from him, holding him against the wall by his collar._

_"K-K-Kanda?" Allen eyes widened with surprise ' I knew he wouldnt take it well, but this?'_

_"What the-"_

_"Listen you fucking moyashi" The raven haired teen hissed. Allen cringed at the venom that laced his voice. "Dont. Ever. Say. That. Again." Kanda ordered, emphasizing every word._

_Allen swallowed hard, thinking the worst of it was over._

_Kanda looked him up and down, "Che. Did you really think I could feel that way about you? Why would I? Your a small irritating, cursed thorn in my ass that thinks he can save the world. Your no more to me than a fucking beggar on the street. How can I care for something like that? The closet thing to love you'll get from me is disgust and hate."_

_**And I'll take everything, from you**_

_Kand voice dripped with poison, and every word cut Allen deeper, twisting into the wounds already carved into his heart. Allen hung his head, attempting to hide tears. Kanda's gaze didnt falter as Allen removed his hand from his shirt._

_"......."_

_"......"_

_**And you'll take anything....wont you?**_

_Allen bit his lip and lifted his head to the side, smiling slightly, holding back tears._

_"Then...I'll see you in the morning..K-Kanda,"Allen's voice cracked as his mouth grew dry. He looked at kanda momentarily and saw the look of disgust and hatred plastered on it and turned to exit the room before what was left of his heart crumbled away. _

Allen held himself, as the ache in his heart grew wider, threatening to tear him apart. The man who he had grown to care for, the one who he was in love with, had bluntly told him he would never, NEVER, care for the him, and that he hated him.

"So stupid! So stupid!," Allen fumed, "I should have just shut up! Atleast I wouldn't know how much he hates me..."

**_Runaway, runaway, like a prodigal_**

Tears had now flooded his vision as he tried to deal with the pain. Deep down, he had known telling Kanda his feelings would do more damage than good, let alone doing it in the heat of another one of their arguments. But Allen the oh so ever optimistic boy had found some hope deep down within him, that maybe Kanda could feel the same as him, and if not, that they could atleast be friends.

_"The closet thing to love you'll get from me is disgust and hate."_

Allen shuddered as he replayed the words over in his head. Hugging himself tighter, he curled into a ball on the floor.

'I guess this really is what love feels like. Why else would it hurt this much?'

**_Don't you wait for me _**

'Why did I have to fall for such a jerk anyways?' Allen harassed himself, angry at his emotions. 'Because he's a jerk, thats why. He's a beautiful jerk, thats why I love him'

Time went by, and Allen looked blankly around the room sniffling as tears dried on his pale face. His body grew weary, barely able to move from his position on the floor; it seemed as his body could no longer support his whirlwind of emotions :anger, sadness, hurt, embarrassment, and disgust.

Disgust at himself for falling into this situation that left him broken and hurt, far from his normal happy and brightfaced self. Body unwilling to move, Allen attempted to blink away the sleepiness that fought its way to the surface, but it was to no avail as darkness slowly began to swarm his vision

00000000000

A golden orb fluttered aimlessly around the hallways in search of a certain white haired youth's room. The golem had "forgotten" what room it was and as all the doors were shut, it could not simply look in on the occupants of the rooms till he found what he looked for.

After searching the second floor for a third time, the golem sat on the desk in the hall way, "deciding" to take a break.

"Baka Moyashi," a single deep voice uttered from near by.

**So ashamed, so ashamed**

The golem watched, unmoving as Kanda stood infront of Allen's door, raven hair moving forward fluidly as he hung his head and pressed a hand against the other's door.

"Allen....I'm sorry"

Kanda clenched his fist and silently cursed himself for his actions and leaned against the other's door.

**_But I need you so_**

"Allen..." the Japanese teen, let the younger's name play on his lips. A sweet name it was, I sweet and precious name to that none other could compare...

"I'm so sorry....its for the best"

**A/N: Well???????????? what do you think. PLEASE REVIEW I love Reviews! I'm debating on another chapter or not what do you think?**


	2. Twisted conflict

A/N: Omg. Thank you guys soo much for the reviews, I didnt expect to get that many. lol Thanks for the feedback. Yes I decided night to make this a one shot, instead there will be multiple chapters. But (hehe) it wont be very long (only a short story sorry?)

Thank you Digimagic, Aion Laven Walker, , AmazinglyUntalented, YugiKitten, shiinaanobaka, Allen-kunROX, and Sky91!

Anyways onto business Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man, only the plot bunny that lives in my head and attacks me occasionally.

Kanda: Fucking weirdo

Me: (frown) that's mean...

Kanda: Che' get over it

Me:Alllleeeeeeeeeeeeen! Kanda's being an arse again

Allen: (shaking his head) You know you really are an ass...damn jerk

Kanda: (twitching) Moyashi.....................

**_Prodigal_**

**_But I need you so_**

"Allen..." the Japanese teen, let the younger's name play on his lips. A sweet name it was, I sweet and precious name to that none other could compare...

"I'm so sorry....its for the best" Kanda grimaced as the words left his lips. But with that grimace there came something else. What was it? It was something that no on at the Order would recognize on Kanda's face. It was just so...not him.

It was sadness.

Despite being the well known beautiful, ill mannered, insufferable and emotionless (except anger) bastard, Kanda still succumbed to the very essence of human nature: his emotions. While the majority of the time he choose to ignore the emotions scratching at his surface, when he did acknowledge them, his permanent scowl hid his true feelings effortlessly. It had become _first _nature to him. When Kanda did choose to freely acknowledge his feelings and attempt to deal with them, he did so in complete solitude.

Hence why he was currently standing against Allen's door, head hung in sadness.

**_And you wait for me  
_**

Sadness at the fact he had broken a boy with such a pure soul. Someone who had be one of the purest beings in this world. Sadness that he had let those words pour out of his mouth.

'Shit'

Kanda still recalled the hurt he saw in Allen's eyes the brief moment their eyes had locked after Kanda's words had done their damage. The hurt had taken the eighteen- year old back, making him instantly curse himself for his treatment of Allen

_Kanda watched, glare unfaltering as Allen pulled his hand away from his shirt._

_Allen turned to the side, looking away from the older male, biting his lip briefly before smiling slightly, attempting to hide his hurt._

**_I'm on the road, to who knows where?_**

_But Kanda saw it. He saw the pain the grew in Allen as the seconds ticked by. He knew the smile was fake. He always knew when Allen was fake. Over the time Allen had come to the Order, Kanda had become intune with the white haired-boy. Initially his interest in Allen had been complete curiosity, due to his strange appearance and the fact that he was cursed. When Allen showed his lack of fear for Kanda, the older grew annoyed which resulted in their now famous relationship of fighting constantly. Living in the same place as Allen and their constant argument had allowed Kanda to become aware of Allen's subtle nuances that gave away much more meaning than the younger intended them to do. Like how when ever he was irritated, his eyebrows would furrow slightly, or when he started to grow bored with some of Komui's rants about Lenalee or his next invention those grey orbs would become slightly listless but never faltered in their gaze. Kanda even notice his pale skin would slightly turn a pale powder pink when they argued._

_Yes he noticed it all._

___"Then...I'll see you in the morning..K-Kanda,"Allen's voice cracked as his mouth grew dry. He looked at Kanda momentarily. _

_Kanda's face grew twisted with hatred and disgust, and while he projected those emotions toward the boy, they were really toward himself. Hatred at himself for his inablilty to accept the fact that he loved the Moyashi, that the Moyashi was perfect, that the Moyashi was everything he wanted. Hatred at the fact he let his pride get the best of him. Hatred at the fact that he believed he didnt deserve Allen._

_He wanted to tear his long locks out of his scalp because he was disgusted by his very being right now. The venomous words that left his thin lips had done irreversable damage and he knew that relationship would be beyond all repair now._

_'i dont mean it, but i wont tell you that..' Kanda thought to himself, his facade unwavering. The moment silver-blue orbs met sapphire ones, Kanda felt his heart wrench._

_'I fucked up'_

**__****_Look ahead, not behind_**

_The glimpse of hurt of saw was enough to cause sleepless nights, and if he did sleep, those eyes would surely plague his dreams._

_As Allen slammed the door after he left, Kanda stared, lost in his emotions momentarily._

_"Stupid. Fucking. Emotions." he hissed, punching a fist into the desk of the room._

_"Baka Moyashi, if you hadn't been so fucking...ugh!" his fist connected with the desk again and again, until red drops began to soak the wood._

_"Fuck," Kanda grumbled at the discomfort of his hand, noting the redness of it and how it would swell soon._

_Kanda gracefully sat on the bed, head down with his goodhand pinching the bridge of his nose._

_"This wasn't suppose to happen," _

"Baka.." Kanda mumbled again, feeling drained, he had lost track of how long he had been outside Allen's door. Letting his emotions take control of him, he rushed out of his room to Allen's, wanting to apologize and admitt his feelings.

**_I keep saying_**

But as soon as he caught sight of the other's door, rational thought replaced his emotions and he found himself simply standing there.

'I was suppose to continue to not care and go about life with out you fucking moyashi, but you had to fucking say you love me,' Kanda yelled in his head.

Kanda, upon realizing his feelings for Allen also realized that the two wouldn't work. Until now he was sure that Allen hated him and was sure that would keep things under control, but now he had to rely on his ill mannered and angry demeanor to keep things the way they were. To Kanda, Allen was simply...

Perfect. He was friendly, well mannered, outgoing, and optimistic. He loved Akuma and humans alike and fought with more valiant and determination than anyone else. He was pure. His ivory skin smooth and astonishgly beautiful.; Kanda even found perfection in the way Allen's scar curved and dashed across his left eye.

**_There's no place to go_**

He was everything Kanda was not. That big difference led Kanda to believe Allen deserved something more than he. Hell he even thought the damned usagi might be good for him. He just knew that he wasnt.

Thats why he hid his feelings behind this wall, why he pushed Allen away when he spoke those three words.

Kanda felt his head begin to pound as his thoughts threatened to burst from his head. He leaned back against the cool wood and stared at the ceiling, attempting to listen for sounds from the other; the crying he had heard earlier broke his heart, he almost drew Mugen to wreck the hallway desk.

Kanda sat on the floor, his back pressed against the door, silence overtaking him, leaving him to his tormented thoughts. He longed to break into Allen's room and hold him and bury his face into that brilliantly white hair.

"Che... If only it wasn't you Moyashi"

**_Where you're not there_**

Kanda flexed his now healed hand, trying to keep his composure and not injure it again. Time ticked away as thoughts swam in his head of what to do.

"Fuck it," he hissed, before standing up. He hesitantly touched the golden door knob, a tingling sensation crawling from his fingertips up his arm as he twisted the round object, expecting for the door to be locked, eyes widening briefly as the door creaked open with ease. Kanda stuck his head into the dim room first and looked down at the floor when the door's opening all the way was blocked by an object.

A small heap of clothes...

A small heap pf clothes with a body in them...

A body curled up into a ball...

A body with white hair...

Kanda's breathing hitched as he saw Allen's figure on the floor. He moved quickly to assure that the boy was okay. Well as okay as he would have been in this situation. Kanda narrowed his eyes, to see if the boy was moving, his heartbeating quickly in his chest. He had never seen someone look so frail...so...

So broken.

Kanda frowned as he saw the slow rise and fall of the boy's body, before moving strands of white hair from Allen's face.

Kanda cursed himself for what he was about to do, knowing he would regret it later. He scooped the boy up into his arms and carefully moved him to his bed before laying him down on the soft matress.

"...Kanda..."

Kanda paused, fearing he had woken him, but relaxed when he realized the boy was still sleep.

..And dreaming about him.

**_On your rope, I hold tight,_**

It brought happiness and sadness to Kanda. He chose to push the boy's private utterance from his head before pulling the cover over his body. He smirked slightly at how angelic the boy looked before leaning closer to his face his lips brushing against the boy's ear. Kanda breathed in his scent, a smell that stuck with him always. The smell of lavender's and something else...

Something fragile and unique that had been with him as long as he could remember...

Something pink...

...floating in a hour glass.

Lotus, Allen smelled of lavenders and lotus. The smell was intoxicating, etching itself into Kanda memory. He sighed before whispering into the boy's ear.

"I love you too, Allen" it was barely audible, but had the boy been woke, it would have served its purpose. Kanda turned and left the room, looking at the sleeping figure briefly.

Allen, in his sleep intoxicated state opened weary eyes to a blurry room, briefly capturing sight of long black tresses sweeping out his door before his eyes succumbed to sleep again.

**_But its freeing..._**

------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Yaaa! Another chapter done. I kind of liked writing Kanda's side. Sorry if its a little ooc, but I tried lol. Read and Review. Plz.


	3. Golden Intervention

**A/N: Thanx again to everyone whoe reviewed. I do love you all soo much. lol. Sorry, planned on updating to much sooner than this, but with the holidays and family and all that, well enough said. But anyways...**

**Disclaimer:**

**Kanda:Oi, beautiful000enigma does not fuckin own D. Gray-Man or its characters.**

**Me:...umm wow so harsh...**

**Kanda:Che, whatever, next time do it your damn self. *stalks out***

**_Prodigal_**

"I love you too, Allen," it was barely audible, but had the boy been woke, it would have served its purpose. Kanda turned and left the room, looking at the sleeping figure briefly.

Allen, in his sleep intoxicated state opened weary eyes to a blurry room, briefly capturing sight of long black tresses sweeping out his door before his eyes succumbed to sleep again.

**_But its freeing..._**

0000000000000

Allen awoke the next day in a haze of confusion. He found his eyes to be extremely puffy and tight. Raising his innocence arm to his face, he delicately touched the pale skin around his eye.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled sadly, remembering the night before and the tears that seemed to take on a life of their own. Recalling the events from the night before, a question popped into his slowly awaking mind.

'How did I end up in the bed?' he thought quietly, vaguely remembering flashes of something black flowing out of his room. Shrugging tiredly he swung his feet over the side of the bed and began the process of removing his clothes to shower briefly before heading back to headquarters. Kanda and Allen had been sent to Milan to investigate strange occurrences, as usual, in the _Duomo di Milano_(Milan Cathedral) of the beautiful city; the Gothic cathedral's interior morphed during the night while remaining the same on the outside. Sometimes it would remain as its original design, then at others the transverses would be on the opposite side of the original design, or the arches would lay vertically facing each other. In one instance when the duo had went in search of the innocence, they found the characters in the stain glass window of the choir moving through the frames. The way the light had shinned through the window and played against the colors of the pictures made Allen smile, he thought it to be beautiful; Kanda scowled at him and told him he was too damn sentimental as well as a stupid moyashi. An argument soon followed , which ended with Allen having a bruised cheek and Kanda a busted lip. It had taken them a couple of days to find out exactly where the innocence was located in the building, and with its changing interior, the process was even harder, not to mention the akumas that had swarmed to the place a couple of days into their investigation. Miraculously the two managed to destroy all the akuma and obtain the object they had labored so long over, it was embedded into one of the sarcophaguses in the building and was the only thing that remained in its place.

**_And I take everything from you_**

Removing the red ribbon from around his neck, Allen walked to the window, opening the curtains some to allow in the light that longed to invade the dim room. Removing his shirt, he stretched his tired arms and rubbed his innocence arm. He pondered how long he of a shower he would take in order to avoid hearing Kanda's mouth about him taking so long.

'Kanda'

Allen once again felt his heart wrench and felt as if he would fall to pieces. He frowned at how easily he felt broken at the mere thought of the man. The young boy sighed, his eyes dull and down ridden, he tried his best to push all events of last night to the back of his mind, along with all Kanda related emotions.

As if on que and physic to the thought of his name, a hard commanding knock was heard on Allen's door. Before Allen could turn around, Kanda swung open the door, his normal scowl plastered onto his elegant face.

"Oi, Moyashi,"Kanda huffed, slightly irritated that the bean had yet to get dressed.

Allen sighed before turning to face his companion, wearing his normal happy face, albeit fake.

"Yes"

**_But you'll take anything_**

Kanda was taken back by the boys bright face; he was sure that the younger wouldn't be in a good mood this morning after last night. Thats when Kanda saw it, the dullness and sadness in Allen's eyes and the way his smile seemed to be strained, as if the corners of his mouth would soon fall into a frown, disfiguring his perfect pale face. Kanda's anger and disppointment bubbled up inside himself, and bit back the words that played on his tongue

**_Won't you?_**

'Fucking liar, stop being so damn happy all the time. That fake smile...' Kanda clenched his fist at his side. If there was one thing that he hated about Allen it was the fakeness that he exuted behind his false smiles and happiness, no matter what the situation was. For once he just wanted Allen to show his feelings that he hid, like he did last night.

Kanda shook his head. "Che figured you wouldn't be ready."

Allen shrugged naked shoulders before grabbing a towel from the chair. Kanda's eyes briefly wondered across Allen's frame examining his pale skin and the black tattoo on his shoulder that led down to his blackened innocence arm. He noticed how thin, yet muscular the boy was. His abs were in perfect shape, and despite the teen's small frame, well formed.

Allen titled his head to the side and wondered what the raven haired teen was looking at. The boy suddenly felt self conscience and began playing with the towel in his hands.

"Kanda," he called.

Kanda was brought out of his trance and mentally kicked himself. 'Damn it'

"What were you looking at?" Allen pondered.

"Che, nothing," he turned to the side to hide the slight blush that powdered his cheeks.

**_Run away, run away_**

Allen sighed, "Whatever Bakanda."

Kanda turned to leave, "Just hurry up Moyashi."

"It's Allen Bakanda! Or is your primative mind too slow to comphrehend those two syllabes! A-L-L-E-N you dumbass! God how long have you known me, yet you can't say my name right, stupid. With all that healing power, you think it could fix your fucking brain! I'll be surprised if you can even understand what I'm saying to you right now, Bakanda" Allen shouted, more harsh than normal. He fumed, fist clenched and red in the face. He let his hurt and frustration and sadness pour out into those words. He turned sharply feeling like he was about to break down.

'Whats wrong with me? He always calls me that,' he thought sadly as he realized what he had let pour out of his mouth.. Then it hit him, Kanda's unwillingness to call Allen by his name was Kanda's way of refusing to accept him. This hurt the boy as it further reinforced the idea that Kanda truly did hate him.

Kanda gaped slightly at all the emotions in Allen's words. He blinked a few times at the now red in the face teen. He bit his tongue to hold back the insults he wanted to throw back at the younger teen. His eyebrow twitched and he balled his fist up before turning to walk out the door.

**_Like a prodigal_**

Allen walked over to stop Kanda from leaving, gently touching his wrist, attempting to apologize to the other.

"Kanda," Allen said apologetically, "I-"

"Che. Just hurry up," he said stiffly, pulling his arm out of the boys grasp before shutting the door.

Allen sighed and flopped down onto his bed and staring up at the ceiling, his heart searching for a solution to heal its pain.

000000000000000000

The tension in the train compartment plagued the air as the two sat across from each other, silent, each staring out of their respective window, or rather in Kanda's case, glaring. The Japanese teenager glared but saw nothing. Everything was a blur to his stormy navy blue eyes. He had taken to the window to avoid looking at the moyashi who sat petting Tim. Kanda could have sworn that the yellow golf ball was glaring at him, even without eyes. It made the trip all the more uncomfortable.

**_Don't you wait for me, dont you wait for me_**

'Dumb golf ball,' Kanda huffed in his mind, sensing that the golem was up to something. He briefly looked at Allen out the corner of his eyes to see the child staring out the window, eyes following intensely at the passing scenery. This was one of the rare occasions where the ill mannered young man could not tell what his opposite was thinking or feeling. He was unsure if the boy had been staring out the window to avoid looking at him, and who would blame him? Or if he had truly taken an interest in Italy's country side. Kanda went with the later, knowing how the boy could take an interest in the some of the most simple and idiotic things in life, another fact that he both hated and loved about Allen.

**_So ashamed, so ashamed_**

The train ride remained relatively uneventful as neither one of them spoke to the other unless necessary and the finder remained outside of the compartment sitting in watch. That was until Allen's bottomless pit of a stomach grumbled loudly enough that the finder had to peep in to make sure that everything was okay. Said exorcist blushed lightly and placed an arm around his stomach in embarrassment.

"Yes everything's fine..I-I'm just a little hungry is all..." Allen admitted bashfully. The finder, Toma, smiled and assured Allen that he would have the trolley bring them around food.

Kanda scowled in disgust and raised an eyebrow as Allen's stomach roared once more.

"God dammit moyashi!"

Allen puffed out his cheeks in an irritated yet adorable way, "Well I cant help it, its because of my innocence you jerk."

Allen crossed his arms and fumed at the young adult across from him.

"Che. Sure it is you glutton." Kanda rolled his eyes at the flustered teen.

Allen's eyebrow twitched and he placed a hand to his forehead. "You know you are such an insensitive prick that its ridiculous"

"Did you just call me a prick you little fuck?" Kanda hissed hand clenching Mugen's hilt to the point that his hand was turning red.

Allen glared at the other, "Yes I called you an insensitive prick as it is that your an egotistical jerk that only thinks about his damn self and never takes anyone else into consideration because as far as your concerned the world is suppose to bend to the will of the great Yuu Kanda," he hissed, though not as with much less venom then Kanda

'Your wrong,' Kanda thought silently.

**_But I need you so_**

"Your wrong" only this time, he was vocal his glare showing hints of emotions.

Allen tilted his head to one side and smirked, "Yeah right"

Before Allen could blink, Kanda had closed the distance between them and had hoisted the boy up buy the collar of his coat. Allen's eyes widened with surprise and a light pink shaded his cheeks as he felt Kanda' breath against his face.

"Listen hear Moyashi, you dont know shit about me, so what gives you the godamn right to tell me how I think or feel," Kanda glared into the eyes of the younger boy. Allen searched the dark orbs swimming with emotions that he could not clearly name and distinguish from one another.

Allen's eyes narrowed, "I dont know, maybe because of things like this" he said pointedly, wanting to get out of the samurai's grasp. He could not longer stand being this close to him without feeling his heart jump in his chest repeatedly and get that same feeling of crumbling apart in his soul.

"Besides, why do you care what I think, you hate me anyways," Allen muttered, looking down, eyes glazed over as tears began to form. He briefly looked at the samurai whose dark eyes confused him. He thought he saw hurt in them for a moment, then realization and remorse. Kanda's grip on Allen's clothes loosened as his face grew twisted, unable to decide what emotion to rest on. He calmly lowered his hands and hung his head.

'Your wrong, so wrong'

Looking up, Kanda placed a hand on the side of Allen's face, in reaction the other twitched, not wanting to become more hurt than he already was. Kanda's heart pained at the reaction,

"Moyashi" he said almost sensitively. Small streams of tears rolled down Allen's face.

_"Allen..."_

At the sound of his name, Allen broke eye contact with Kanda and looked around the compartment in confusion. It was Kanda's voice, but he never calls him by his name. Kanda looked just as confused.

_"I'm so sorry....its for the best"_

**_And you wait for me_  
**

Realization hit Kanda and he immediately turned around and stared at Tim. The golem fluttered into the air and smiled, opening its mouth to show the recording of Kanda outside Allen's room.

Kanda stood still, unable to move, shocked beyond belief that he had been unaware that the damn golem had been in the hallway the whole time, recording everything. Allen, oblivious to what was going on, moved from Kanda, stepping toward the golem. The scene recorded was dark, but he could recognize the hallway, his room...

and Kanda leaning against his door, looking almost as depressed as Allen had felt.

Allen's heart fluttered in his chest and he grabbed the breast of his coat and watched intently.

_"Baka"_

He watched as Kanda lean with his back against his door, his head hung in...shame?

_"Che... If only it wasn't you Moyashi"_

Allen could hear the remorse in the one he love's voice, something that was not typical of Yuu Kanda.

_"Fuck it"_Allen watched impatiently as the recording showed Kanda standing up and opening the door, though hesitantly, to his room, with Tim following his every move. He felt the pieces of his heart that had broken and crumbled away come back together as he watched Kanda carefully scoop him up off the floor and into his muscular arms bridal style and gently lay him on his bed.

'So thats how,' Allen thought, still greatly confused behind Kanda's actions, but was unable to stop the warm feeling that swam over his entire being as he watched the other tuck him into bed and what looked like, whisper something into his ear. He smiled lightly as the black tresses swept out of the door in the most graceful manner he had ever seen.

Kanda, sense regained, snatched the golem out of the air, face distorted and his left eyes twitching, "You fucking gold piece of shit " he hissed as Tim sweat dropped. He launched the thing at the window, and at the last second Tim flapped it wings to avoid crashing through the glass. He "glared" at his abuser before landing on Allen's shoulder.

Allen stared at with confusion "Kanda..."

Kanda looked at the pale boy, twisted on what to do...

**_And you wait for me_**

**A/N: Well, hmm, not too sure how I feel about this one, I'm a fan of angst but I wanted to kind of keep it to a minimum this chapter. Haha, I love Tim... leave it to the golem to meddle lol! Anyways, stay tuned for the conclusion....hmmm there might even be a sequel?????? I dont know, we'll just have to wait and see. Anyways read and review please!**


	4. AnnouncementSorry

**A/N: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Omg i am so sorry for taking so long to add the last frickin chapter to this story but i was having such a hard time figuring out which way i wanted it to go plus i was busy with school and work PLEASE DONT KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise that this will be finished this week or next. Plus I was thinking of doing a sequel or a whole other Yullen story, but much longer than this. Plus i was deciding if i wanted to finish my other story "Redemption" (not Yullen or yaoi all) or not.....so many things to do :( . but if you can, please take a look at my other story and tell me if i should finish it or not. I NEED FEEDBACK!!!!!!! Lol**

**Soooo I need you guys to give me feedback on:**

**1:Another Yullen?**

**2:Finish "Redemption"**

**3:Any kind of advice**

**Anyways as stated sorry for my lack of inspiration and business and all that.**

**BUUUUUTTTT on the bright side i do have a preview of the last part**

**ENJOY**

**DISCLAIMER: I DNT OWN SHIT! FOR THE LAST TIME**

Kanda: And I'm the bitch? Che

**Prodigal**

'So thats how,' Allen thought, still greatly confused behind Kanda's actions, but was unable to stop the warm feeling that swam over his entire being as he watched the other tuck him into bed and what looked like, whisper something into his ear. He smiled lightly as the black tresses swept out of the door in the most graceful manner he had ever seen.

Kanda, senses regained, snatched the golem out of the air, face distorted and his left eyes twitching, "You fucking gold piece of shit " he hissed as Tim sweat dropped. He launched the thing at the window, and at the last second Tim flapped it wings to avoid crashing through the glass. He "glared" at his abuser before landing on Allen's shoulder.

Allen stared at him with confusion "Kanda..."

Kanda looked at the pale boy, twisted on what to do...

**_And you wait for me_**

00000000000000000000000

Silence filled the compartment. Though it was not a calming silence, it was one that shook the toughest Exorcist down to his bones. He tried to maintain his composure and facade infront of the white haired bean. Kanda mentally kicked, punched, and stabbed himself for his show of effection toward Allen and not taking into thought the nosey video recording golem pest. There were numerous times where he had grown irritated with the thing and its illogical way of having human tendencies and thought of smashing the golem into pieces repeatedly , then scattering the remains and burning them to avoid it freakishly recomposing itself. Now he wished more than ever he had followed through with his plan.

Allen continued to stare at him with a child like wonder and confusion, silver eyes bright in the sunlight, swimming with emotions. He hesitantly approached the older teen, moving slow; he delicately wanted to approach the situation, scared that one sudden movement or wrong word could bring the situation crashing down, causing more damage than ever for both of them.

"Kanda...I.. don't understand..." Allen whispered still closing the gap between them. He looked at Kanda in wonder, half expecting the other to force him away with Mugen or come up with some half assed explanation of what he was doing on the video. He stopped moving once he stood face to face with Kanda. Kanda slowly felt his facade begin to crumble while he looked into Allen's stormy gray eyes, the same eyes that haunted Kanda's dreams and kept him up at night.

"Don't...you hate me?" Allen pondered aloud, not really expecting him to answer. He looked at Kanda expectingly and saw him tense up.

_Damn lavender and lotus _the samurai cursed as wave after wave of the scent hit him.

"Che...of course I do..." _Fuck it..._

Allen felt the last bit of himself crack at the words, but the look on Kanda's face...

was soft?

A smirk spread across his face, but his navy blue eyes were no longer hard and anger filled, they were soft and gentle or as much as they could be in Kanda's case. Allen stepped back in suprise, but a strong hand reached out gripping his arm, pulling him back. The younger one flinched and shut his eyes as Kanda raised his hand. Expecting to get punched or thrown against the wall, Allen opened his eyes at the touch of a calloused hand gently rubbing the side of his face, tracing the scar on his face, dark eyes locked onto his own.

_If I regret this later...then so be it ........................._


End file.
